Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Snappy New Year

In the true spirit of Surrealism, I didn't realize that I had Surrealist predictions for the new year, until I wrote them in an email this morning. In case they come true, I'll post them here:

- A new virus will be unleashed that makes people grow Portuguese-speaking fish heads over their entire body

- Eight-legged snakes will take the place of the traders on the floor of the NYSE for one day

- The date of Tristan Tsara’s birthday celebration will be determined by cutting out numbers from the newspaper, mixing them up in a paper bag, and selecting 3 numbers at random

- President Bush will give a press conference wearing the head from a chicken suit, and the body of a gorilla suit. He will speak for 5 minutes, in a conversational tone, without using any consonants.

- After the instantaneous evaporation of Kathleen McGinty, the Creature from the Black Lagoon (a native Floridian, mind you) is named the Secretary of the Department of Environmental Protection

- Two Words: Carbon Tree Fickle Note Frog Tasting

No comments: